MINIMALISM / SIMPLICITY
Why “extreme” minimalism doesn’t appeal to me
The idea of an extreme minimalist lifestyle has always fascinated me but honestly, I have no interest in becoming an “extreme” minimalist. I have a problem with anything radical because it’s too rigid and bound to bump against the limits of human nature.
I don’t know how much “worse” consumerism is in North America compared to Europe but the fact that I grew up in France certainly shaped my mind in a way that is less focused on stuff and more focused on “living well”. I grew up learning to appreciate life’s pleasures: a delicious homemade food, a great wine, a beautiful table setting, the company of loved ones, and daytime meals that extend into the evenings, filled with love and laughters. To me, that’s what life is all about – no matter how cluttered or uncluttered our home is. It’s mostly the reason why I don’t worry so much about the stuff and about conforming myself to the generally accepted ideal of what a minimalist home ought to be (as small as possible, no spare bedroom, etc.). I grew up in a large family so hospitality is a big thing in my value system. A home isn’t just four walls and a roof (or a metaphor) where I eat and sleep. And it isn’t just for me and my boyfriend. It’s a place of communion with friends and family, a place where they come if they need a bed for the night, a place where we create our own rituals and traditions. It’s our little world in the world. And I think it’s more important to make sure my friends and family feel welcome and comfortable in my home than to have a perfectly decluttered space.
Stuff doesn’t make us happy. We know that. Things were initially meant to improve our comfort level, and that’s exactly what they should be considered – tools that make our life more comfortable. Nothing wrong with that. It bugs me when people talk about stuff like it’s some kind of evil force. Stuff only becomes a problem when it invades your life in an unhealthy way, when it becomes a way of filling a void in your life, of dealing with your insecurities and unresolved issues.
I’ve never believed that minimalism is the key to happiness. As far as I’m concerned, happiness is a personal choice that comes from within. If you can’t be happy in your heart, you will never be happy, whether you have a million dollars in the bank or nothing at all. Anything else that you get to enjoy, be it a nice home, a good bank account, an amazing friendship or a hobby, is like the cherry on the proverbial sundae. They make life more fun. If you’re a Debbie Downer – rich or poor -, paring down won’t be of any help. I do however believe that minimalism will make you happier because it helps you to focus on what matters the most (to you).
Minimalism has become an intimidating concept because we’re seeing more and more examples of “extreme minimalism”. It’s becoming unhealthy to the point where people feel pressured to measure up. This is what Karol Gadja called “a sick game of keeping up with the Joneses” in a recent post (make sure you read the readers’ comments; they’re quite interesting). I think Karol summed up perfectly what minimalism is all about: “I have exactly what I need. Nothing more, nothing less”.
100
Hi everyone! How was your weekend?
Just a quick update on my 500 things challenge (more info here). This weekend, I reached the 100th thing mark. It happens to be a DVD of one of my most favourite movies: “things you can tell just by looking at her” by Rodrigo García Barcha (son of novelist Gabriel García Márquez). If you’ve never seen this movie, I highly recommend it.
I’m really enjoying this last round of purging. It challenges me to question everything I own and to redefine the way I see my life. Very cathartic.
I love this – the idea of starting over and the feeling of infinite possibilities.
I am a minimalist
If there’s something I’ve learned in the past few years, it’s that once you’ve endorsed the minimalist ideal, you’re no longer considered “normal”. Even if you’re not an extreme minimalist. Because in the “normal” world, people are supposed to like shopping for stuff and being surrounded with stuff. In fact, minimalism is often considered silly.
In my family and among my friends, I am the “not normal” one. My boyfriend (who doesn’t share my enthusiasm for minimalism) teasingly reminded that to me a few weeks ago. All I know is I want to live my life as beautifully and peacefully as I can, which involves setting priorities, and using my time and money to support my life goals. For me, it means spending my money on travels to learn more about the world around me instead of buying shoes and handbags and home accessories; decorating my home in a way that promotes focus and serenity; and spending time only with people who nurture positivity and genuinely encourage me to be and do better. Every single day, I make a conscious decision to make my life even better than the day before by choosing inner peace over chaos and experience over stuff.
When it comes to home décor, I’m generally not very keen on fussy designs. To say it simply, my brain is more receptive to simplicity. I actually didn’t realize it until a few years ago. Chaos and clutter (figurative or literal) stress me out. I can appreciate the beauty of a more ornate interior but I could never live in a house that screams “overdecorated”. Me, I like my walls white and my home free of unnecessary stuff. I remember right after we bought our house, we furiously got to work to make it home, painting walls and ceilings (in white), removing dirty carpets, etc. A friend who was visiting noticed our white walls and said: “Oh you’ve just begun applying primer”. I know she didn’t mean to be rude but it still took me aback, kinda like when you congratulate someone for her pregnancy and realize too late she isn’t pregnant but carrying a few extra pounds. Awkward.
That was the first time I realized some people will never understand my vision of an ideal home. People usually don’t understand that behind the “spartan” aesthetics (relatively spartan because I’m by no means an accomplished minimalist -yet- ), there’s a philosophy and a conscious lifestyle choice. Which is why I refuse to debate with them. It’s one of those things that fall in my list of pointless arguments. But here’s what I would say:
Where you see blandness, I see beautiful simplicity.
Where you see boring white, I see purity.
Where you see emptiness, I see serenity.
What about you? What do people around you think about your minimalist lifestyle? Do they think you’re crazy? Or weird? And if you’re not a minimalist, what do you think about minimalism? I’d love to hear your opinion.
21st century minimalism
I was reading a post on Apartment Therapy earlier today about some guy who “has whittled down his possessions to a laptop, an iPad, an Amazon Kindle, two external hard drives, a “few” articles of clothing and bed sheets for a mattress that was left in his newly rented apartment”. Another guy who is “living from just a backpack full of designer clothing, a laptop, an external hard drive, a small piano keyboard and a bicycle – an armful of goods that totals over $3,000 in value” claims “digital technology has replaced the need for his home and his possessions”.
In reply to a commenter who wrote “That’s ridiculous. How does technology substitute for a decent place to sleep and heating in the winter?”, someone made a valid point: “According to the article, he now couch-surfs at friends’ houses. That’s not downsizing, that’s mooching. He kind of reminds me of people who claim they aren’t materialistic/live simply because they don’t own a car or some other big ticket item, but then constantly borrow from friends or beg rides.” Moochers disguised as minimalists? Hmmmm…..
Anyways, the writer (Gregory Han) asked the following question: “If you had to live with just 10 possessions, what would they be?”. You’ll find my list below – just for fun because there’s no way I’m ever going to live with just 10 things. Maybe when I become an ascetic nun but the chances of that ever happening are very slim. (I assumed that possessions don’t include personal stuff like underwear, family jewelry and winter gear – hey I live in Canada!)
- iPhone
- Laptop
- Swiss army knife (I don’t own one, but if I had to live with just 10 things, it would definitely be on my must-have list)
- Sketchbook
- Pen
- Toothbrush
- V-neck cashmere sweater
- 1 pair of jeans
- 1 pair of ballet flats
- Purse
Did you read the Apartment Therapy post? What do you think?
500 things challenge: Update
Quick update on my new (and last) paring down challenge: the 500 things challenge (read original post here).
I promised myself that it would be my last decluttering session because if I still have to declutter down the road, it would mean I didn’t do such a good job at curbing my shopping enthusiasm, which would basically mean I still want more stuff even if I intellectually know I shouldn’t. But I’m confident I have changed my focus: a few days ago, I clearly realized that I have everything I need and more than enough. And to be honest, I’m getting tired of this decluttering trend. Everywhere I turn, there’s a blog that tells me to declutter. Talk about guilt-inducing and stressful. Don’t get me wrong, I still think decluttering is a good thing. But at some point, we should stop the quasi-obsessive need to declutter. I mean, we have a life, right?
Anyways, back to the challenge. As I previously explained, I created a Word file where I compile all the things that will leave the house. The list is numbered so that I can easily see how many things I’ve gotten rid of (instant gratification). So far, there are 73 items on my list.
It’s a slow process because I only have nice things and yes, I admit it: I’m having a hard time deciding what to let go and what to keep. My rule of thumb is to get rid of anything I have never ever used, anything that I will likely never use and anything that doesn’t have a purpose other than looking good (I prefer a multitasking accessory like a nice vessel that can be used as serving bowl, catch-all and decorative bowl that can hold pretty flowers).
There are 5 piles: trash, charity, sell, regift (for special occasions) and give away (to family and friends who I know will like the items).
Here’s the pile of clothes that I’m donating to charity:
And a box of other stuff I’ll be giving away to family and friends:
I’m still debating if I want to have a garage sale or not. I don’t want to sell my nice stuff for peanuts; I’d rather donate it to charity or give it away to friends and family. I’ll most likely sell the really nice stuff on ebay.
I can’t wait to finish this challenge and be done for good with my obsession with stuff and decluttering.
