Minimalism in relationships
My guiding principle for everything in my life (including relationships) is simple: quality over quantity.
I strive for simplicity and authenticity in my relationship with others, and I’ve become very selective of who I allow in my intimate circle, using the trustiness level criteria (though I’ll befriend pretty much anyone). Yes, it means I have a lot less “close” friends than before, but it also means I no longer have to deal with all the drama and negativity they brought into my life.
I’ve had a few friendship breakups over the years, most of which hurt more than a romantic heartbreak. Sometimes it was a mutually agreed short break that became permanent. Other times, it was a really bad breakup that involved insults and personal attacks. But in all cases, I cried. A LOT. Breaking all ties with someone you’ve known for a long time or with whom you shared a special experience isn’t easy. It’s a heart-breaking process, but it’s crucial if you want to keep your sanity.
I used to feel bad about nixing people out of my life because, well… I have a natural tendency to worry about other people’s well-being before mine. But I’m a big believer that actions speak louder than words and after a while, I just figured that we’re better off without each other.
When a relationship has become toxic to the point where I feel I can no longer trust the other person, it’s time to tell them “goodbye and good luck with your life”. Trust your gut instinct. If someone makes you uncomfortable to the point where you have negative feelings every time you think about them, it’s a pretty good sign that you don’t want them in your life.
Forgive, forget, and move on. Life’s too short for bad relationships :)
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Amen! that’s why I love you so much.
:)
Good point.
I remember breaking up with my best friend from elementary school, and it was the most painful experience of my life. Even up until now, it still “trumps” the breakup with my high school sweet heart whom I dated for almost 5 years.
I feel that relationships take hard work and comittement, but it shouldn’t feel hard. This goes the same for friendships and other relationships.
I recently broke up with someone I called my best friend simply out of habit. It feels weird to no longer have an “official” BFF but at the same time, it’s great to no longer feel “obligated” to play a role that didn’t feel authentic to me.
yay, so true Hasina just happened to me! there’s so much drama indeed. drama=stress. quality friends deserve quality time. :)
Exactly!